Bahhhhhhh! I already screwed up on my New Year's resolution. SO this is to be considered yesterday's and today's post.
Why do we make resolutions anyway? I mean, every January we decide that we want to be "this person." Then by June we screw up, allow ourselves to be screw ups for the rest of the year, and then start all over in January. Can't you just decide to be a better person on any given Wednesday or the 17th of the 8th month? I struggle with this every year in the gym. I like to go to the gym year round but I never like to go in January. Too many resolution-ers and never enough machines. I always go back in February when they have given up on their resolutions instead of making lifestyle choices. Though I'm pretty sure my January lifestyle is making me fat.
I am currently sitting in a hotel because I am out of town for work. I never realized how much I depended on netflix. The regular television is killing me. Everything is reality tv. I am currently watching Toddlers & Tiaras. I understand that it is on tv because it is terrible, but it is really terrible. Save the money that you are gambling away in these contests that teach your daughters that nothing is more important than being beautiful, and put it in a college fund. $5000 on dresses?? You're a moron. This show just glamorizes it, I find it extremely annoying.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
Day Six
It's hard to write when I'm blogging, but he's facetimed me three times and I have ignored them all. I just don't feel like talking to people tonight. I feel like garbage.
I completely fell off the wagon today. I ate double, if not triple my allotted calories today. I've been so stressed out from work that I haven't been paying attention to my diet and exercise. Excuses, excuses.
I'm super disappointed with myself. I really need to get it together. I am headed home on Friday - I plan on heading to the gym on Saturday and Sunday before I head out on the road again. I have got to make it a habit again. I was doing so well before Christmas and I completely got out of the habit while I was home for Christmas.
Fingers crossed... I will get it together.
I completely fell off the wagon today. I ate double, if not triple my allotted calories today. I've been so stressed out from work that I haven't been paying attention to my diet and exercise. Excuses, excuses.
I'm super disappointed with myself. I really need to get it together. I am headed home on Friday - I plan on heading to the gym on Saturday and Sunday before I head out on the road again. I have got to make it a habit again. I was doing so well before Christmas and I completely got out of the habit while I was home for Christmas.
Fingers crossed... I will get it together.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Day Five
Today was my cheat day for my diet. I went completely out of control. I ate so much that it's 7:30 and I just want to sleep. Disgusting.
So there's this boy...
I'm known as a serial dater. I make terrible decisions. I tend to want relationships with terrible men that are going to treat me like garbage. When I met this one, I really liked him. As things got more serious, I began to push him away. I am still fighting myself to keep him around. Most of my friends are married and have children. I can't keep fighting myself on this and not believing that I deserve happiness. I know that I do. It's just very hard to trust that someone with my heart anymore. I know that I want him in my life. I believe that he is a good person.
So there's this boy...
I'm known as a serial dater. I make terrible decisions. I tend to want relationships with terrible men that are going to treat me like garbage. When I met this one, I really liked him. As things got more serious, I began to push him away. I am still fighting myself to keep him around. Most of my friends are married and have children. I can't keep fighting myself on this and not believing that I deserve happiness. I know that I do. It's just very hard to trust that someone with my heart anymore. I know that I want him in my life. I believe that he is a good person.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Day Four
It's 9:44 on a Saturday night, and I am looking forward to going to sleep. When did I get so old?
I got a massage today, and my entire body is screaming for rest. My lower back felt like it was filled with cement. My muscles were hard as a rock and I was completely immobile. I still feel really terrible. I'm not sure how I am going to live with this forever. It's been almost three years since my car accident, and I have yet to feel any relief. I'm so sick of hurting. I love sleeping - maybe because it's the only time that I feel really, really good.
I got my new iphone 4s today too. I loved my 4 but the screen was shattered. It's quite a relief to be able to see my entire screen. I also am pretty addicted to Siri now -- the entire thing is kind of creepy, but kind of hilarious. I signed another two year contract with Verizon. With all of the tax increases and everything else, it scares me to sign long contracts with anybody. Who knows where we all will be financially in six months, a year, five years?
I got a massage today, and my entire body is screaming for rest. My lower back felt like it was filled with cement. My muscles were hard as a rock and I was completely immobile. I still feel really terrible. I'm not sure how I am going to live with this forever. It's been almost three years since my car accident, and I have yet to feel any relief. I'm so sick of hurting. I love sleeping - maybe because it's the only time that I feel really, really good.
I got my new iphone 4s today too. I loved my 4 but the screen was shattered. It's quite a relief to be able to see my entire screen. I also am pretty addicted to Siri now -- the entire thing is kind of creepy, but kind of hilarious. I signed another two year contract with Verizon. With all of the tax increases and everything else, it scares me to sign long contracts with anybody. Who knows where we all will be financially in six months, a year, five years?
Friday, January 4, 2013
Day Three (and a half)
Okay so it's after midnight -- but I refuse to go to sleep until I write in here, since it was a commitment I made for the year. It's been a super rough day, and I took a nap when I got off work, yet I'm still not sure where my night went.
I had a nightmare of a day at work. I'm new to the area and my market and I feel like I am being pulled in a million different directions. One area is telling me to do one thing and another is telling me to do something else. I'm supposed to be a subject matter expert to those that look to me as a mentor and I end up looking like a moron because the veterans are doing something that they aren't supposed to. It's the most frustrating thing ever. Problem is, it has exhausted the crap out of me.
I'm excited for tomorrow. I am going to sleep in and get a massage at 12:30. I need it desperately, as my lumbar arthritis has been worse than ever. Hopefully tomorrow night I will feel healthy and am able to be mobile again.
I had a nightmare of a day at work. I'm new to the area and my market and I feel like I am being pulled in a million different directions. One area is telling me to do one thing and another is telling me to do something else. I'm supposed to be a subject matter expert to those that look to me as a mentor and I end up looking like a moron because the veterans are doing something that they aren't supposed to. It's the most frustrating thing ever. Problem is, it has exhausted the crap out of me.
I'm excited for tomorrow. I am going to sleep in and get a massage at 12:30. I need it desperately, as my lumbar arthritis has been worse than ever. Hopefully tomorrow night I will feel healthy and am able to be mobile again.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Day Two
I have a sick obsession with instagram. I'm pretty sure it's abnormal and terrible. I have always been obsessed with photos - my walls are covered. It's a place where I can post my photos and also be uber accepted... it really is terrible.
Why do we as people crave the attention so terribly? Social media creates monsters in all of us. People can "like" us but not dislike us. We don't actually need to communicate anymore either. I mean, what is the point of even speaking? Type it up, post it, and delete any negative comments.
Today reminded me why I love my job so much. I've found that when I am only observing or having office days, I feel useless and out of control. I feel like I am terrible at my job and have no idea what I was doing. When I am able to teach, I feel amazing. I feel productive.
It's exhausting.
Why do we as people crave the attention so terribly? Social media creates monsters in all of us. People can "like" us but not dislike us. We don't actually need to communicate anymore either. I mean, what is the point of even speaking? Type it up, post it, and delete any negative comments.
Today reminded me why I love my job so much. I've found that when I am only observing or having office days, I feel useless and out of control. I feel like I am terrible at my job and have no idea what I was doing. When I am able to teach, I feel amazing. I feel productive.
It's exhausting.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Day One.
One of my goals for 2013 was to write in a blog every single day. I have never been able to consistently keep a blog -- start it, write in it for a few weeks, and then forget about it. Unfortunately, I probably have about 324234234987 inactive blogs on the web right now -- it's terrible. So here goes nothing... 364 (it is the second day of the year) days of writing a blog about absolutely nothing so that complete strangers can read it -- not that anybody will.
2012 was a huge year from me. I moved over 500 miles from the only home that I ever knew and started a job that I've been working my butt off for years to get. Needless to say, it was an amazing year.
After multiple stints and failed attempts at online dating, I have finally given up on it. My friends even called me a serial dating... disgusting. I am trying not to completely give up on the male species, but I am beginning to think that I am waiting for a nonexistent man.
2013 is going to be amazing. I refuse to settle for less than the best. I want to focus on being a better person, getting healthy, and living life like tomorrow may not come. I want to track all of the positivity in this blog and remind myself that everyday I can build to be an even better human being... though there may be some speed bumps along the way.
2012 was a huge year from me. I moved over 500 miles from the only home that I ever knew and started a job that I've been working my butt off for years to get. Needless to say, it was an amazing year.
After multiple stints and failed attempts at online dating, I have finally given up on it. My friends even called me a serial dating... disgusting. I am trying not to completely give up on the male species, but I am beginning to think that I am waiting for a nonexistent man.
2013 is going to be amazing. I refuse to settle for less than the best. I want to focus on being a better person, getting healthy, and living life like tomorrow may not come. I want to track all of the positivity in this blog and remind myself that everyday I can build to be an even better human being... though there may be some speed bumps along the way.
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